No Ordinary Man

For the record, I am surprised myself I even have to fill out this application. I mean,
everyone knows who I am. I am Gage Buchanan, equvialent to the most prodgious, ingenious,
vivacious human ever known to man. I am the man! I am like a god walking amongst mere
mortals. My voice could make a wolverine purr. Most women would rate me a 11/10 but
that's just most women. I was drafted into the NHL by the age of 6, averaging about 8
points every game. Understanding it isn't the ideal career choice I have retired. I
finished 1st in Iron Man, Won a Juno, and recieved a Nobel Peace Prize. Donald Trump
idolizes me.

I am a superhuman.

I dont believe in walking, as I have people to do that for me. I own a palace on a island
named after me. My dog has his own bedroom. I sky dive without the parachute, I snorkel
without the goggles, I dance without the music. I throw down the best parties! I gave
J.K Rowling the story of Harry Potter. I can speak 6 different languages, not including
English.

I am my own role model.

School was never on my list of things to do. However, I am ready for a change in my life.
After all, finding a cure to cancer, discovering a new species in Madagascar, and creating
my very own sushi roll, can all be very tiring.

You're welcome for me taking the time out of my bustling lifestyle to fill out
this silly application. We both can agree your school is nothing without me.
When you accept me, call my agent.

Will you survive?

         Cocaine, heroine, ecstasy, and acid are all drugs that can kill you. Does grade 12? I began to walk the halls with extreme precaution awaiting the surprise attack of a hazard. Upon approaching the stairs, I suddenly realize my shoe is untied. Before I could reach down and fix it, a grade 9 comes bursting out in front of me launching my grade 12 body down the stairwell. Luckily, my hand grasps the cold beige metal bar. I reached my destination, Chemistry. Mrs. Niedballa had us doing a lab today with poisonous chemicals. Although, I was aware of all the dangers and safeties of the class, my fellow classmates were obviously not. My eyes scattered around the room looking for any loose articles of clothing, goggles, coats, or any left out food. 
     "Hey, I dare you to drink this!" one of the students yelled. 
     "NO!" I belted, but it was too late! I reached for my phone to call 911. The boy who swallowed the chemical substance was past out on the ground. 
     "He will be ok," one of the ambulance attendance recited. It was only 10:00am and already a life was put in grave danger. I needed a snack, to the cafeteria I thought. I decided on an egger, since they normally cure my hunger. However, something just wasn't right today. My stomach felt like it was bubbling and gurgling. My throat felt swollen and itchy. What was going on? I reached into my pocket where my Tums were. Hopefully, that would get me through P.E. Dodgeball! Are you kidding me! Maybe I will just have to fake sick? How many hours left? Highschool is a dangerous place and it's a miracle how we survive everyday because everyday we go to school, we face a 1000 ways to die!